at a loss

Things here at home have really gone a downward spiral since we got back from vacation.  The thing is I know that it is my fault.  And trust me, I'm feeling the guilt.  But I'm not sure how to step forward from this point.

How do I get the urge to get up and clean?  How do I get that urge to get back on the weight watchers wagon?  And how do I get the urge to follow through with the discipline?

So, as I sit back and look at my problems through, what I hope are, long distance lenses, I think I'm realizing that it all falls on my shoulders.  There will be no magic fix to the dishes, or the food, and most importantly the discipline.  I know that it will be hard work for me.  And so, I'm trying to pick one to focus on.  Maybe if I can focus on just one thing, the rest will start to fall into place.  Maybe, hopefully.

Of the three--dishes, food and discipline--lately, it's been the discipline that's really been getting in my face.  Quite literally--when TO is busy yelling at me.  It's very frustrating when her teacher tells me what a joy she is, what a ray of sunshine, and even that he would clone her if he could.  While I'm glad that she's behaving herself at school, why am I stuck with the demon child.  Me--not P--just me.

It's time I buckle down with her and really set up a plan of attack--unfortunately, I constantly  feel under attack from her and therefore always on the defensive.  It's time to get on the offense!

Here's my first plan of attack (to be altered upon need):  There will be no warnings--if there are warnings she assumes that she can do something once and get away with it.  The first offense will result in an 8 minute time-out in her bedroom.  The second offense will result in a 16 minute time-out.  The third offense will result in loss of privileges (ie.  tv, iPod, sleeping in the guest room...).  And of course, serious offenses, or ignoring the consequences will skip right to the loss of privileges.  Well, at least there's a plan in place.  So tomorrow, a new dawn begins.  Or something else corny like that.