itching

One of my favorite cloth diapering sites has been having a 20% off sale ending tonight at midnight.  And I'm itching to order something.  The kicker is, I don't really need anything.  Omega has more diapers than he needs right now, and the ones that I want to order aren't even my favorites.  I just really like the new patterns that they came out with.  So I find myself inventing reasons to order something.  Sigh.  Only a few more hours to go until the sale is done and the temptation won't be as huge.

On another shopping note, I ordered a Kindle yesterday and am very excited for it to come in the mail.  In my head, I'm telling myself that I'm not going to buy any books, that I'll just download the free books that are available.  However, I know in reality I will buy books.  So maybe what I need to do is come up with a plan for how I'm going to save that money from a different part of our life.  Oooooohh, so excited!

she's doing good

When we took TO into her oncology appointment on the 15th, her oncologist commented that "she's doing well with her height and weight."  I kind of forgot about the comment, having both CD and Omega with me that day, TO had gone off with the aide to have her vitals taken so I didn't know the exact measurements.

Then, while doing laundry a few days later, I realized TO had holes in a few of her yoga pants.  That left her with 3 pairs of pants.  So after talking with TO I realized that she didn't really like the yoga pants.  She preferred dresses or skirts--or blue jeans if she had to wear pants.  Since it's winter time, pants just work better with snow pants--not to mention it's getting harder and harder to find skirts and dresses that I think are long enough for her.  So I headed for the big box store and came home with 2 pairs of jeans--a 10 1/2 and a 12 1/2.  I had her try on the 12 1/2 first--and it was HUGE.  The 10 1/2 was big too.  Granted they had adjustable waists, but I really think it would have been pulling in too much.  I'm going to return both pairs and try the regular 10 and maybe an 8 as well.  Today I noticed even her yoga pants are fitting loosely.

She's been walking away from the dinner table when she's feeling full, and even eating a few more fruits than she used too.  Yay for TO!  She really is doing well.

cradle cap...

So, all of my older kids have had cradle cap at one point in time.  Although none of them has ever had it as a baby.  I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me to check CD's hair earlier,  but the a while back I noticed that her pretty much her whole scalp was covered in scaly scales.  Ick.  I've been wanting to take care of it, but due to the oily look of the hair right afterwards, I wanted a good chunk of time (days) that we could spend at home.  This afternoon was the day.  Poor girl.  A good dosing of baby oil, 2 shampoos and multiple combings later and her scalp looks raw in places.  I would say 3/4s of the scales are gone, but I'm afraid I may have to oil her head up again--something I've not had to do with the other 2.  I'm not sure she's going to stand for another oiling.  It took all I could do to get her to sit through this first one.  Sigh.  At least we're on the way to a healthier scalp for her.

a day...

Today TO had an appointment with her psychologist for the needle phobia and had blood work afterwards.  I am amazed at how well she did with the psychologist.  Dr. Kelly brought a butterfly needle into the room and by the end of the session, TO had held it, and had let Dr. Kelly hold it at various places on her hand and arm.  Definite progress!  But the best news is that there's no homework for us to do--other than the relaxation techniques.

After TO's blood work, they always let her pick from the treasure box, or sometimes they pick for her.  This appointment, being so close to Christmas, they gave her a bigger toy.  She got an American Girl doll!  One of the customized dolls.  Of course it's an African American doll, but I'm astounded that they have had gifts like that donated.  TO is absolutely in love with it and I know that CD is looking forward to TO leaving for school tomorrow so she (CD) can play with it.

And while TO had a good day (her blood work was no better or worse than usual), I did not have a very good day.  Things have just been off for me lately.  P has been getting longer chunks of time off in the afternoons, which is nice.  But, I'm definitely feeling the need to get out of the house--and there just doesn't seem to be time to do that.  Not like there's anything to do in this rinky-dink little town if I were to get out of the house sans kids.  P's parents are coming into town on Friday, and I'm hoping that they'll agree to stay with the kids one night so P and I can go out to supper.  We haven't been out alone together since we moved down here.  And, I'm thinking it might be time for a date night.

I know that a lot of my emotional status is stemming from the holiday season.  As excited as I am for the kids, I'm really missing being around family.  And the Christmas cards just aren't coming in like they used to.  And I'm kind of dreading P's folks coming down.  2 days of letting the kids do whatever they want and giving them whatever they want.  "McD's for the 3rd time?  Sure, why not?"  Arg.  I'm hoping things will be getting better after they head back north.

TO's class has monthly reward parties for all the kids that have met the requirements.  The requirements, you ask.  Not have more that one math homework turned in late and have completed 4 reading counts tests.  Well, the reward party this month is on the 22nd--they're heading over to the high school to watch the Polar Express on a big screen.  And she should be turning the last of her homework in tomorrow--just on time.  And as far as I know she only has one reading counts done.  And the rest need to be done by Wednesday.  Should be interesting to see if she gets it all done or not.

snow=boredom

So, we've had a lot of freezing rain and gusting winds--but not much actual snow, just lots of snow drifts.  And as a result, we spent the day indoors--well, it's not like I don't do that everyday anyway.  But today was very boring--which is funny because what can be boring about 4 kids and husband hanging around the house all day, right?

I'm in the middle of a knitting project for Omega--probably 20 minutes from being able to felt it, and I just haven't gotten up and done it, but I probably will now.  Gotta go...finally some ambition.

lessons learned...learning...to learn

The past week has been very chaotic for me.  I've come down with a bad sore throat (I'm actually pretty sure it might be strep--of course that statement didn't seem very sure, did it?) just after I finished up a week long dose of nasal congestion.  This one has been bad enough that I was hardly able to eat or drink anything for 3-4 days.  I'm not getting much sleep at all, due to the pain and to the fact that just as I drift off to sleep, I start snoring and wake myself up again.  Needless to say, I am not functioning on a full tank at all.

Monday was my day to register for my tech classes.  Registration started at 8am and I was feeling like I was getting something accomplished at 8:40 when I logged on--only to find that the class I needed to take was already full.  I couldn't believe it, although P said the same thing has happened to him--wish he would have told me that sooner.  So, after quite a bit of talking, we've decided to put it off until next semester--and try it again then.  But I'm kind of realizing I don't want to go back to school.  I like my life the way it is right now.  I like being able to stay home with the kids.  I think I would hate going back to school, I don't think I'd like nursing...

This afternoon when P was home for lunch we were talking about it a bit.  And I realize I need to get a job to bring extra $ into the household.  Last year at this time I was working part time, and we're starting to miss that extra $ now.  Why not just get a job you ask?  Because at this point in time, daycare is too expensive for us to swing.  Full time for 2 kids.  So we would need to work opposite shifts.  The problem being that Pat doesn't really work shifts.  He's over to the farm by 6:30-7am and many nights isn't home until after 10pm.  So, I'm not really sure how I would find a job that would work into those few hours.  Before Omega was born, they had given him every other weekend mornings off so he could be home until I got done with work.  But when we chose for me to stay home, that time off ended--not to mention his boss's wife got a different job, and I'm not sure how I could find a job that coincided with hers (she milks when P doesn't).

I also decided it was time to make the kids help out around the house (okay, I know I've decided this before, but we're trying it again).  Which means the kids are staying up later in order for TO to have time to get her homework and chores done.  It's all been a lot of extra stress for me, but I know that it needs to be done.

After the kids' first visit to the dentist, I needed to take some action to get the kids brushing.  So now, I'm making sure that they're teeth are brushed morning and night, flossed and night.  However, it's definitely turned into some I'm-getting-special-attention-from-mom time.  Problem is, since I never bothered with brushing before, they're just learning this--so they need someone going behind them and re-brushing.  But I'm sure getting tired of the amount of time and...

Okay, enough venting and grumbling.  I'm going to go have a cup of hot chocolate and curl up and watch my shows and try to forget about my life for a few minutes.

See what happens when I don't have any library books in the house?  And that was a choice I made.

opening a can of worms

It's becoming apparent that I needed to start talking with TO about puberty.  I had always pictured her approaching me with questions--this is how it worked when I was younger, at least this is how I remember it working.  But we are starting to deal with some body odor issues with her now, and it's becoming clear that she has no idea what's ahead of her.

Her oncologist warned us that puberty might come early for her, but still, 2nd grade seems extremely young--although thinking back, I did know a classmate who got her first period when she was 9.  So, now I get to broach the subject with her, and I'm wondering just what kind of questions I'm going to have to deal with.  In addition to the body odor, it's becoming very apparent that I've been lax in the whole teaching her proper hygiene.  I picked up a copy of the Care & Keeping of You last night and read through it.  It really does a good job of touching on all aspects of puberty, not just getting your period--although it does cover this too.

I sent LE and CD to bed at their normal time tonight a talked to TO a bit about what puberty was and then we read some of the book together--the first few chapters talked about hair, ears, eyes and mouth.  She took the book to bed with her tonight, so it should be interesting to see what kind of questions she has in the morning.

So far, she seems very excited about the whole prospect.  I described puberty a girl's body changing to that of a woman's--a woman's body being one that was able to have a baby.  Obviously we didn't get to any of the chapters about periods, and I think that will be the stuff that freaks her out a bit.

I wish I had a bit more support on this whole topic.  P has specifically told me that he doesn't want to know anything about TO and puberty.  He doesn't want to know when I'm talking to her, any questions she has, etc.  He's told me he will take care of talking to the boys--which I really think probably means he will let them learn from their friends.  Now I need to decide if I'll need to step in or not.  But I guess I don't even need to read the label for that can of worms for a few more years--thank goodness.

a weekend done

We headed up north this weekend to spend some time with the families before winter sets finally sets in.  It just so happens that this weekend was Grandma's Slumber Party Weekend.  The plan for the weekend was to spend Saturday with my mom and then P's mom was watching the kids on Saturday evening, while we went out with friends.  Then Sunday would be spent at P's mom's house also.  Mom asked if the older 3 kids could spend the night at her house.  P and I decided that they could because we never spend the night there when we're in town--mainly due to my stepdad.  P called his mom on Friday and let her know the change in plans.

We were able to get on the road by 6am Saturday morning.  By the time we got into town, Mom and the crew were leaving for Red Lobster in 30 minutes, so we decided to head over to P's mom's while we waited for Mom to finish at Red Lobster.  When the kids asked P's mom V if she had anything for lunch, her response was "if I had known that you were coming, I would have had something."  So during the 2 hours that we were there--over lunch time--the kids were given suckers, fruit snacks and popsicles and I heard the same phrase at least 10 times.  I was so frustrated.  There is always an abundance of food at her house.  But, she was obviously in a pissy mood over the kids spending time with my mom.  We got her to agree to watch Omega while we went out, but she made it clear that she felt she was being cheated out of time with the older kids.  I'm getting so frustrated about the whole thing.  My mom hardly ever gets to spend more than an hour or two with them.  I don't see how V expected us to spend both of our 2 days with her.  She has to realize that my mom lives 3 miles away!

We had a really good time with our friends--we went to Red Lobster for supper and then went back to their house and played Settlers of Catan.

It rained overnight, and we woke up to icy roads on Sunday morning.  My plan had been to get the kids from my mom's right away so they could have their all-important time with V.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to pick them up until noon.  Oh well, I'm sure V will survive.

Either way, I'm glad I'm home now.  And, although I'll miss celebrating Christmas with my mom, I'm glad that we won't be heading back north until spring.

a snow plow in the engine?

So, I'm noticing today, on my way to meet Aunt J, that any time I brake it sounds a bit like a snow plow going by.  Yeah, I'm guessing a last minute trip to the auto mechanic is probably in order.  So, yay for sitting in the dingy, dirty little waiting room for hours with two kids waiting for it to be done.  Oh, and don't forget that I also have to take TO, LE, and CD to their dentist tomorrow morning at 10am--nothing like an appointment smack-dab in the middle of the morning to throw a wrench in the whole situation.  After I take the oldest 2 back to school, I'll have to take the van in for repairs and pray that I can be home by 4pm to get the kids off the bus.  So much for spending the remainder of the day at home cleaning before our weekend trip.  Why is it that whenever I plan for a trip it ends up seeming a lot like work?   Arg.

adorable mice?

So, out of boredom, I was just wondering around and came across this blog, http://mouseshouses.blogspot.com/  Here's a few samples.


Knitting























Coin Purse


















Hot Tub















I could just keep posting pictures, but you should just check it out yourself.

P's dilemmas

P has been looking for a new job since Oct. and dreaming of a new job since June.  He's been working with the same placement company that got him his first spraying job down here (the one he got laid off from 4 months later).  So far, he's filled out 4 applications and today he had his first interview with a fertilizer plant 10 minutes south of us.

One of the applications he has out is for a vet tech job with the university.  And currently this is his dream job.  Large animal, surgery, excellent pay, even more excellant benefit package.  However, he sent his resume and application in the end of Sept. and although it has gotten through the first two stages, we don't know how many more stages it will have to go through.  His sister, who is also a university employee, said it took her 6 months to get through the hiring process, but she figures the university will want to fill the position before the end of the year.

So, P's dilemma stems from the fact that he doesn't want to accept another job and then get a call from the university and have to choose between the vet tech job and quitting a job shortly after being hired--or turning down a job and having to stay where he's at because the university never calls.

After his interview, P came home very excited.  He liked the guy that he interviewed with and felt very comfortable.  P said the only downside the guy mentioned was that P didn't have any row sprayer experience.  The guy is going to be interviewing 2 more candidates and is hoping to fill the position within 2 weeks.

It should be interesting to see what is going to play out.  I have so many different opinions running through my head over the whole mess--too many to write down.  I just hope that whatever choice he finally ends up making is one that works out well for us.

memory planning

The kids and I have started looking forward to Christmas time--as we see November dwindling away on the calendar.  TO asked if we still had the Advent calendar that we had last year--a small tag board card-sized one.  Which got me to thinking about a calendar for this year.  Then I remembered how we used to use our Nativity set as a calendar of sorts.  When we were getting out the Christmas decorations at home, someone would wrap the Nativity pieces up into 25 little packages.  And each day we would open one package and set up the Nativity.  Some of the packages only had one figure in them, others had two or three animals.  But on Christmas day, we would open the final package--the one that had baby Jesus in it.

So, I went online looking for a kid friendly Advent calendar or Nativity set.  I wanted something that the kids could touch, feel, play with.  Something that wouldn't leave me cringing every time I left the room.  And after exploring on Amazon.com, I eventually ended up at fisher-price.com.  I found a cloth Advent calendar (seen here)--a pocket for each day and a cloth figure to add to the Nativity scene at the top of the calendar each day.

I also ran across a Little People Nativity set .  Now, I probably should state that when TO was around 2, I actually bought the Little People Nativity set, but after 2 moves, I'm not sure if we even have all the pieces or not.  So, I ordered the whole thing--it's actually made up of 3 sets--the Nativity, the 3 kings set and the inn set.  I'm not sure how or if I will be wrapping everything up into little packages or if it will be left out for them to play with during the month of December.

I admit to hesitating a moment or two when I thought about ordering it--with TO being 8, I worried that she might be a bit too old for Little People.  But I also figure I'll get a good 3-4 years of Christmases out of the Nativity sets before Omega would be ready for something a bit more fragile.  And in the mean time, I won't have to worry if he wanders off with one of the figures.  In the mean time, I'm pretty sure 'Thou shall not gnaw on the baby Jesus' is not one of the commandments.

mail order brides

So, I have to admit to a recent fascination of mine.  Mail order brides and arranged marriages.  Not in modern, real-life terms, but in romance books.  I don't remember which book set it off exactly, but I have a list of books on hold at the library--all centering around the topic.  Half of them are inspirational romances, half of them are not.  Either way, there's something intriguing about the concept for me.

unreasonably terrified

That's right.  I'm terrified--have been since Monday.  But, perhaps I need to go a bit further back in my life to explain.  P and I have been struggling with money issues for our family of 6 for many years now (probably since it was a family of 4).  And we've realized that the only way for us to get more $ for the family is to get better paying jobs.  And obviously the easiest way--or at least the easiest, most legal way--to do that is for me to get an education that will allow me to get a better paying job.  So, I started on my path to a nursing career back in 2008.  I finished my nursing assistant courses and started with additional requirements to start classes in the fall of 2009.

Then a move, followed shortly by an unexpected--or should I say unplanned--pregnancy but the plans on hold.  We started back on the path again earlier in September, and just before our trip to Disney World, I heard that I had been accepted to the nursing program here at our local technical college.  After we got back from our trip, I scheduled an appointment with one of the counselors--this had to be done before I could do anything else in the process.  My appointment was on Monday.

As I sat in the counselor's office, I realized I was just plain and simply scared about going to school.  I actually started crying--in the counselor's office.  I'm rolling my eyes at myself.  We mapped out a basic plan of attack for me.  I will have 2-3 years before I'm accepted into the core classes of the nursing program.  In the mean time I'll be taking some of the generals and electives.  If all goes as planned, I should be done with school in 4-5 years.

I've spent the days since then paralyzed with fear anytime I think about school.  It's really hard to pin point the reason (s) why, but here are some of them.

1. What if I can't manage it all--all the extra work on top of everything I should be doing now--note I said everything "I should" be doing--not "am doing."  So many days I feel overwhelmed, I can't imagine school making it any easier.

2.  What if I can't pull the grades--I was a good student in high school--up until my last semester.  What if I can't be a good student again?

3.  How am I going to have the time to spend with the kids?

4.  Where is the money for the baby-sitter/day care going to come from?

5.  What if I just don't like it?

6.  What if P gets a new job and it doesn't work out for school?

7.  What if I get all the way through the school, and get my license and then just don't like being a nurse?  What if I hate it?  What if I'm no good at it?

I suppose I feel a bit better for getting that all out of my system.  But really, where's my adventuresome spirit when I need it?  I know that this needs to be done, I know I need to suck it up and do it, but when am I going to feel ready?

a typical Sunday

Today was a Sunday school day and since P had to work this morning, I had all 4 kids at church by myself.  I actually feel like I'm getting the hang of it a bit--even though I'd rather have help.  Omega took his morning nap again during mass, CD only needed to go to the bathroom once, LE had Sunday school during the mass and was happy when he came back, and TO was my biggest problem.  Evidently, sitting through mass is just too hard for my 8 year old.  My 4 year old has no problem--it's my 8 year old who feels the need to chatter throughout the whole mass.  LE was doing his best at behaving until TO moved to sit next to him.  Then neither one of them could keep their mouths shut.  Very frustrating to me, but in reality, it probably wasn't as bad as I'm assuming it was.

I finished another winter hat for Omega--and surprise, surprise--it's too big.  Six attempts and 4 are too big and 2 are too small.  I'm giving up and moving on to another project.  I'm going to make a baby blanket for my friend M (due in Feb) or P's cousin (due in Mar).  At least this project will be okay if it's a half inch too small or too big.

Tomorrow morning I have Omega's 9 month check up.  I'm interested to see how much he's grown.  In my opinion, he's really pudged up quite a bit.  In the afternoon, I have a meeting with the counselor at the tech school.  I've been accepted into the nursing program, now I need to see what the next step is.  I know I won't get into the core classes for a few more semesters but I'll be able to take some generals in the mean time.  Hopefully I'll find out enough to make my worries about the program go away.

unwanted changes

I've noticed lately lots of changes in myself.  Changes that I'm really not happy with.  Tonight I want to talk about my change in reading preferences.

Before TO was diagnosed, some of my favorite authors were Patricia Cornwell, John Grisham and James Patterson.  I would not have touched a romance book with a 10 foot pole.  After her diagnosis, I found myself turning to the happy endings guaranteed by romances.  I figured I could be a closet reader and that with time, I'd be able to get back to my normal reading.  No such luck.  Here we are 3+ years later, and I couldn't read my way through a Patricia Cornwell if you paid me too--even the ones I'd read before.

My sister had asked if I wanted to read The Hunger Games with her and I agreed and put it on hold at the library.  I read the first few chapters last night, and picked it up again today.  I couldn't put it down.  It was a good story--don't get me wrong--and I'll have to read the sequels.  But, I couldn't put it down because I just had to make sure that everything turned out okay in the end.  I even asked P (he had read it before me) about the fate of one of the contestants, just to make sure everything would turn out fine.  I just couldn't get the story and the characters out of my head--and not in a good way.

I don't mind carrying the storyline with me in my head between the times that I can sit down and read.  And perhaps this book was worse, because you knew there could only be one winner and that meant everyone but one had to die.  But, half way through the book I really just wanted to quit reading it.  I didn't want to know how it ended.  Of course, by then you're too invested in the characters.  But even now after finishing it over 2 hours ago, I'm feeling a bit sick to my stomach.  You see, this book didn't have a happy ending--you have to read the sequels I'm supposing/hoping to find that.  But by not having a happy ending, I'm going to be forced to read the other books, just to make sure everyone turns out fine. 

I really want to be able to go back to my old reading habits--when everything was easily read.  I hate getting so upset over books--upset enough that I feel it physically.

a sock hop is just hopping with socks, right?

Let me start by saying that as I type this I am listening to CD snore away on the bottom step of the stairway upstairs.  She has been sleeping there for 5 nights now because there are bugs in her room--granted there are bugs (Japanese beatles and box elder bugs) all over the house and have been for weeks.  But evidently there aren't any on the bottom step.  And yes there are, I've checked.

Tonight was the elementary school sock hop.  Last year P's mom took TO and then told her that they'd go together again this year.  However, she ended up dog-sitting and couldn't come down.  I wasn't able to find a sitter, so the 4 kids and I trooped off to the sock hop--thank goodness for my sling.  Omega was more than content to be carried that way the entire time.

The party started at 6:30 and we got there around 6:45.  The noise level in the entire school was almost unbearable for me.  I wasn't able to hear LE or CD unless I squatted down and they talked directly into my ear.  And my children are not quiet children to start with.

We enjoyed the pizza dinner--and by we I mean TO, and possibly LE.  For $3 a piece, each of the kids got a huge slice of greasy pepperoni pizza, a handful of carrots and dip and water (there was a choice of pop, but I chose water for everyone).  CD picked a few pepperonis off of hers and ate a few carrots.  LE ate all his carrots and about half of his pizza.  TO ate her pizza and ignored her carrots.

After supper, we headed into the gym for dancing.  And I still can't believe it.  But the entire gymnasium was lit by one strand of white Christmas tree lights.  We're talking a whole gym, filled with 5-11 year olds running around and lots of parents and younger siblings too, is completely in the dark.  It was close to impossible to keep an eye on the kids.  So, I found my one position on the floor and stayed there.  TO went off with friends and kept coming back to check in like I knew she would do.  Surprisingly, LE was scared in the dark gym and stuck pretty close to my side.  So did CD.  At 7:30 they finally turned the lights back on for the hula hoop contest and everyone crowded to one corner of the gym.  They had all the kids that weren't going to be hula hooping sit in a semi-circle, and I let LE and CD go join the kids--TO was waiting her turn to hula hoop.  And as soon as the contest started, the kids started standing up--and because I wasn't right next to LE and CD, because there just wasn't room--I lost my line of sight.  I was so frustrated.  I knew a general direction of where they were, but being short myself, and having short kids, there was no way I could see over the rest of the grown ups standing around.  LE finally got tired of not being able to see and came back to find me, I sent him back in to get CD and we spent the rest of the contest behind the crowd--they ran around with the rest of the kids that were too short to see.

After TO came back--none of us got a chance to see her hula hoop--I decided I'd had enough of it.  Omega was almost asleep in the sling and I was exhausted trying to keep track of all 3 of them.  We got home at 8:15pm.  All in all, I think 1.5 hours with 4 kids in terrible crowds by myself was pretty good.  I know that they would have liked to have stayed longer, and maybe if we had, they would have gotten to do some of the dances they'd been practicing in school.  But, I was the bad mom that made them come home.  I was the mom that knew I'd met my limit for the night.

Next year, I'm going to try to arrange for a sitter and only take the school age kids.  It really was too much for me to have all of them there, and I'm sure next year Omega will not be content to be hanging out in the sling.  I'm proud of myself for doing it, but I don't think I'll do it again--at least not by myself.

-----

I ordered my cloth diaper detergent today.  I found a website that had free shipping on any purchases over $49 so I bought 4 bags in order to get the free shipping.  I haven't ordered more of my new diapers though.  I'm still holding off.  As much as I love them, it does seem to be a waste, since I already have enough diapers.  A girl can dream though.  When I do decide to order some, my favorite cloth diapering website has free shipping--so there's no rush.

-----

I made a list of my ideal housekeeping schedule.  How often I would sweep and mop and vacuum, etc.  If I'm supposed to have a 1 year, 5 year, 10 year, etc. plan for my life--why not have a final goal for my housekeeping.  Let's face it, it's pretty much non-existent right now.  I broke my list down into each room and decided what I would do ideally, if procrastination and ambition never played into it.  Now, I'm going to pick one thing to start with and do that for an entire week.  Then add another item each week.  I'm hoping that by having a clear cut goal, I'll be able to see clear steps in my achievements.  Yay for me and all that!

a whole lot of little bits

Let's see, let's see...what to say about today.

Omega actually slept through the night last night!  Went to bed by 8pm and slept until around 6:30am.  I can't believe it and although I'm hoping--I'm not expecting it to happen again.

TO, LE and CD had appointments this morning to have some dental x-rays done.  Now, here's where I admit that I'm a terrible mother and none of my kids have been anywhere near a dentist.  And TO is 8 now.  But, we're getting that taken care of now.  Today were the x-rays, and knowing TO's anxiety with anything new, last night, I explained exactly what would happen during the x-rays.  How they would bite down on some "plastic" and a picture would be taken, they'd wear a heavy bib, etc.  Yeah.  Nothing like what actually happened.  Apparently the orthodontic office where we were today is a bit more up to date than my old dentist.  But, the kids all did very well and I was surprised that they all, especially LE and CD, were able to hold still for the whole time.  So, yay kids!

My new snow suits for Omega came in the mail today.  A bear suit for this year (which is a bit big now, but we are looking at close to 6 months of wear) and a size 3T suit for next year.  Not knowing how big he's going to be next winter I wanted to go a bit big.  I was surprised to find that it fits CD--a bit snugly, but still, it fits.  The cuffs on the sleeves and legs are tight enough that it will probably stay above his hands and feet next winter--especially when you add boots into the mix.

I also got a birthday check in the mail from P's mom.  And now I get to decide what to do with it.  It's enough that I could get 2 more of my new favorite diapers--and only have to add an extra $1.  This is the path I am currently leaning toward.  But I also feel like maybe I shouldn't jump the gun and I should try those diapers out for more than one try before I fall completely in love.  However, figured into the equation is the fact that I'm almost out of diaper detergent.  I know that I can probably get by with detergent from the store, but we have really hard water here and it's hard to get the diapers nice and clean.  I found this detergent that was specially formulated for washing diapers in hard water.  And if you don't figure in the shipping, it's no more than Tide or one of the other name brands.  However, the shipping can be a bear since it's detergent, which means it's heavy.  So, I'm looking around for a website that carries the detergent that might have free shipping.  And most sites do have free shipping--if you spend a certain amount.  Why can't my mind handle these little decisions.  Why is it so hard for me to choose.  Arrg.

a cloth diapering addiction?

I have been cloth diapering now for over 8 years and 4 babies.  I can hardly believe it.  But I can honestly say that this is the first time (and by time, I mean baby) that I've fallen in love with it.

Initially I looked into cloth diapering to save money.  The start up cost was a bit shocking, but if you penciled it out, you could really save quite a bit.  With TO, I used prefolds and a snappi inside Bummis Super Whisper Wraps.  I loved the prints available with the covers.  I figured if I had to have my baby in cloth, I might as well be able to have them in something cute.

By the time LE had come along, I had met a friend who also cloth diapered and I had seen that she used wool covers the prefolds. I thought that it was a neat idea, so I gave it a try.  And, I have to admit, that to start with I really liked them.  After a while, I got really tired of hand washing the covers all the time.  I really missed being able to wash the covers in the washer.

With CD, we used a combination of the Bummis and the wool covers with prefolds.  But once TO was diagnosed with leukemia, the cloth diapering went to the wayside.  Not knowing when we'd end up in the hospital, I didn't want to have to worry about dirty diapers being left unwashed too long.  So she spent most of her diaper days in disposables.

When Omega came along, we knew that we wanted to cloth diaper again--but I had already gotten rid of ALL my cloth diapering supplies.  My cloth diapering friend lent us her newborn size prefolds, so all I needed to do was buy the covers initially.  I fell back to my Bummis and prefolds again, but decided that since Omega was our last, I wanted to try a one-size diaper cover--one that could take us from baby to potty-training.  I found--and really liked--Wonder Wraps.

When it was time to go on the family camping trip, we decided to use cloth diapers and needed to extend our stash in order to do so.  I was really tired of the prefolds though.  Cloth diapering had never been a joy for me, but it was definitely no fun at all anymore.  So, I decided to try something completely different.  After lots of review reading, I decided on Fuzzi Bunz One Size Pocket Diapers.  And I fell in love with cloth diapers for the first time.  I quickly expanded my Fuzzi Bunz stash to 18 diapers--enough to get through 2-3 days of diapers.  The only downside to the Fuzzi Bunz was that they were only available in plain colors.  No cute prints.

Then, low and behold, a few days ago, I ran across the cutest pocket diapers I had ever seen--Rumparooz.  And I bought 2.  I used them now and am completely over my Fuzzi Bunz love.  I've spent the last two days wondering how I can go about restocking my diaper stash into Rumparooz.  I wonder how I can go about selling the Fuzzi Bunz.  Ebay seems like a lot of extra work, but at $25+ a diaper, I just can't seem to justify adding Rumparooz into the Fuzzi Bunz collection with out downsizing.

I prowl the cloth diaper web sites looking for that next new love, wondering where it will hit.  Maybe I need to mix my stash up a bit more, and instead of having all the same kind of diapers, branch out into a few of many different kinds.

Oh the tough decisions a cloth diaper addict has to make!

stubborn one

So here it is half past midnight and Omega is still up.  I put him in his crib about 30 minutes ago, and he's really pissed off right now.  The down side is, I have to walk through his room to get to my bed.  I'm not sure if I should do it while he's awake--and get his revved up to top pitch wail again--or wait until he's asleep--who knows what time I'll get to bed again.

It's so hard to listen to him cry.  I know that he's not hungry--he's had 11+ ounces since 8pm--but I'm not sure what's wrong.  In the past I've given him some tylenol and some orajel and eventually he nods off, but I don't like to keep doing that.  I know that eventually he'll learn to fall asleep and stay asleep all night, but in the mean time, my heart is really hurting.  He definitely has a way of making it sound like the worst, most dreadful thing that can happen.  Sigh.

On a happier note, I've started yet another hat for him, and this one seems to be working a bit better.  I actually bought him a hat at WalMart this afternoon.  And I knew as soon as I bought one, I'd get one made.  I'm kind of making up my own pattern again, but working from a pattern at the same time.  I've given up on the elf style hat and I'm going to settle for a stocking cap with ear flaps.  At least I hope I'll get the ear flaps on.  I'm writing out the pattern as I knit it, in case it turns out super awesome and I want to make another one.

LE has wet the bed again tonight--so he's sleeping on the guest room bed.  This is the 3rd time in the last week or so that he's wet the bed.  He's not drinking copious amounts of water before bed, so I'm not exactly sure where this is coming from.  He's been completely out of diapers--nighttime included--since he was 2.5 years old.  I'm not sure how to handle this--other than lots of laundry and not making a big deal of it.  Of course, he's the kid that likes to sleep under multitudes of blankets, so a wet bed equals lots of laundry, but...

ummm...not sure what I'm going to do

So, yesterday I called and left a message for my one baby-sitting source (possible source, as I'm not sure that either of the girls does baby-sit).  And I haven't heard anything back yet.  I asked TO if there were any younger kids at the sock hop last year and she told me "no."  Which makes me wonder what exactly to do.  I'm going to call the school tomorrow and see what the receptionists have to say, but if younger kids aren't appreciated, I'm going to have one very disappointed TO on my hands.

I got my diapers in the mail today!  Happy Birthday to me--I mean Merry Christmas to Samuel!  Unfortunately I think I'm really going to like them.  And, that's unfortunate, because I already have enough cloth diapers and don't really need any more, but ahhhh....new fluff--I love you so.  I'm debating if I sold my current collection second hand--if I could come away with enough $ to buy a meager stash of the new ones.  Sigh.  Probably not.  I may have to settle for watching the 'gently used' page at Nicki's to see if any come up.

I knew when I finished my Christmas shopping early that I would struggle with running across something else for the kids that would be just perfect.  And CD was the hardest to buy for--especially her big guy gift.  She's old enough to know what she likes, but not old enough to tell you exactly what she wants.  As a result, I finally picked up a Baby Alive Baby All Gone after she had mentioned it on several days.  Then today she comes downstairs with the toy flier (I didn't realize that the kids still had that) and pointed out the Fisher Price doll house in there.  And I melted.  I had really wanted to get her the doll house, but knew that buy the time we bought the house and the furniture and the people, we'd be way over our budget.    But, now I'm struggling.  If I returned everything that I'd picked up for her and used the leftover money that had been budgeted for the kids' Christmas presents, I could probably swing the doll house.  But, I'm thinking that I'm going to hold tight for a bit yet.  I've tossed the toy flier out and I'll wait and see if she mentions it again--today was the first time she mentioned a doll house.  Sigh.  Maybe next year...

I don't wanna go...

TO and LE's school has a sock hop every year.  And it's on Friday.  Last year P's mom took TO and she had a blast.  P's mom told TO she'd take her again this year, but has had to back out because she's dog-sitting for P's sister.

Now I'm stuck with making the decision of either going with all 4 kids, or trying to find a sitter for the younger 2.  And I have to admit--I've know about this decision for quite a while now and I've been choosing to put it off.  Tonight, I'm going to call one family I know that has 2 teen aged daughters to see if either of them baby-sits.  If they don't, or aren't able to, I'm going to call the school tomorrow to make sure it's all right that I bring all of the kids.

Part of not wanting to go is dealing with the kids.  Part of not wanting to go is that it is new for us.  Maybe I should just suck it up and take them all.  I know I don't like putting myself in new situations, but I really need to get over it and just do it.  I see a lot of myself in the kids, and that's one trait that I don't want the kids to pick up.

I hate this kind of thing--admitting I have flaws and trying to work around them.  Arrrg.

a bit of...

I have to admit that these last few days have been particularly hard on me, and I'm not 100% sure why.  Physically, I haven't been feeling up to snuff--which I'm sure is the result of being off the ww wagon.  The only thing better than carrot cake with cream cheese frosting is Ben & Jerry's Carrot Cake ice cream--with a cream cheese frosting swirl!  But, I digress.  I'm finally feeling like I should start counting points again, and am just wondering when would be the best time to start.  Yeah, yeah, no time like the present, and all that crap.  I need time to plan, time to get the food in the house.  And, maybe most of all, I need time to prepare my mind--to get it out of the deprivation mindset that it automatically sinks into anytime the word "points" comes up.  I'm also fairly nervous about getting back on the scale.  I know that I'm still fitting into the size-smaller jeans that I got before vacation, but they are fitting a bit tight.  And, I'm wondering just how much damage I managed to do while enjoying the jalapeno poppers, chili and carrot cake ice cream.

Mentally, I have not been at the top of my game either.  I'm still taking a nap almost every morning.  And while I tell myself that it's just because I'm still getting up with Omega during the night, part of me wonders if it isn't a bit of depression setting in.  Things are so lonely here during the day.  And now with Omega so mobile and getting into everything, I'm having to leave the computer off while he's awake.  I'm realizing just how much time I spent on the computer every day. 

I was an avid FrontierVille player on facebook, but I started having a lot of problems with the game--the internet needing to refresh all the time, etc.  And I realized that I was spending up to 2 hours a night (not counting anytime during the day) just getting the basics of the game done.  Not to mention that I needed lots more friends to make the game play easier--and I refused to friend people I didn't know.  So, I gave up--I gifted all the items that I could to my friends that play and have unliked the application and blocked all the posts from my newsfeeds.

I've chatted up everyone that I could about our trip, which now leaves me with not much to talk about--and I don't feel that I can pester my few friends that often without too much going on.  And I'm definitely getting the feeling from my mom that my phone calls are coming at inopportune moments--namely any time of the day.  So, I'm really feeling cut off from grownups--which is just kind of feeding the depression issue.

I am currently on my 3rd attempt to knit a hat for Omega--and I tried the bottom on him today--which was a struggle considering the needles and yarn were still attached.  And it's looking a little big.  I'm really getting ready to throw the towel in and just buy the poor kid a hat.  Pretty soon, he's not going to be able to get by with just the hood on his jacket.  But, I really wanted to make him a hat--so maybe I'll have to start over from scratch and use some yarn that I'm more familiar with--something that's more uniform.

For TO's halloween costume (she was a witch), I needed a length of rope or twine to tie around her waist.  And of course lacking that, I looked up some instructions on how to "finger knit."  I was able to make her belt (big enough to tie around me) in under 10 minutes.  Now I'm debating about teaching TO how to do this--it was extremely easy--and see if she would want to make a big long chain to use as garland on the Christmas tree this year.  The instructions for finger knitting are here--I used the photos, not the video--which did not match the photos, and for the belt--and garland--I only used 2 fingers.

I currently have 3 packages that I'm waiting for in the mail.  Snow pants for TO from P's mom.  Evidently she shipped them to the wrong address--again.  I thought we had gotten that corrected the last time it happened, but evidently everything that she sends to our house has been addressed to the wrong address.  Somehow the post office gets it here (and of course, I haven't noticed the incorrect address because when something shows up in my mailbox addressed to me, I don't stop to read the address too), but UPS gets it screwed up every time--meaning they aren't mind readers and deliver it to the address on the label.  Or, at least this is the gist of the 30 minute lecture that I got on the subject--like it's my fault.

I'm also waiting for Omega's snowsuit--I had returned the ones that my step-mom sent me and am waiting for the correct ones to be sent to us (a cute bear one for this year--built in feet and mittens--and a polar fleece one for next year).  I'm not really hopeful of a quick turn around time, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed--snow could be coming any day now--and as mentioned before, the poor kid doesn't even have a hat!

The third package is my birthday present/Omega's Christmas present.  Perhaps I should preface this with--I told P that I wanted a birthday gift this year--we've been married 8 years now and have never exchanged presents--for birthday or Christmas.  And this year--I just really wanted a birthday present to open--don't ask why, I'm not really sure that I know.  I told him he has a chiropractor appointment on my birthday and that he should just stop after he was done and pick something out.  So the other day he took LE and CD out for supper and it was taking them a really long time to get home.  Turns out they were birthday shopping for me.  They brought home a new dual handset cordless phone.  And I'm not trying to sound bitchy--but it's my blog and you can stop reading if you want to--1) I really wanted something on my birthday, 2) I kind of feel like it's more for him than for me--he's the one that's been missing the cordless since it broke a few months ago, and 3) isn't it kind of like getting a vacuum?  While I'm glad I got a gift, I can say I wasn't really excited about it--but honestly I'm not sure what I was expecting him to get for me anyway.

But, back to my 3rd package.  I got a facebook post from Nicki's Diapers today about a new diaper that they had stocked--basically like the ones that I use and love--only with prints!  Rock on!  I'd been wanting prints for so long--that's the best part of cloth diapering--being able to put really cute prints on your kid's bottom.  Anyway...I checked out their website and ended up ordering 2 really cute diapers--with kangaroo print!  Actually kangaroos wearing diapers.  Kangaroo diaper seen here.  I was only $10 away from the free shipping and when I calculated the shipping--it was going to cost me $10.10.  So, I went back to the site and found some inserts and bought enough to equal the $10.  If I had to spend the $10 either way, I might as well get something, right.

Something completely off topic that maybe considered gross--but again, it's my blog.  About 8 years ago, I started using the Keeper during my periods.  And as grossed out as I thought I'd be, I really liked it.  Combined with some cloth pads that I washed with the cloth diapers--I was set.  Then sometime in the last move, I lost my Keeper--my apologies to whoever runs across it.  I went through 2 periods using the disposable products that I had managed to collect and move over the last 8 years--of course, it couldn't be them that I lost--and hated every day of it.  So after my last period, I broke down and spent the money to get a new one.  However, I had trouble finding the Keeper at a reasonable price, and I decided to try the Diva Cup seen here.  And after using it, I have to say, I like it a lot better than the Keeper.  It seems softer, more flexible and it has a few raised rings/ridges at the base to help with removal.  The site says that it needs to be replace about once a year, but I also ran across sites that had reviews from women who have used the Diva Cup for years.  So, I guess I'll just see how it's doing after a year.  Again the whole above paragraph was probably TMI, but again--my blog.  And as long as I'm TMIing, I use the FuzziBunz Comfort Pads seen here.

I have been reading up a storm lately--probably due to the less computer time.  And, I've finally caught up on the flux of books that accidentally all came in at the same time about a month ago--apparently there just aren't too many holds on older romances.  So, I'm reading Master of Fire by Angela Knight right now--and the only thing I have left here at the house is Death's Excellent Vacation a compilation of short stories by various authors.  I got it for the Jim the demon dog short story by Katie MacAlister, which was hilarious by the way.  I still have all the other short stories to read in that book yet.  Now I need to get back on the library's website and reserve some more books.  And they'll probably all come in at the same time again, and I'll be right back in the same boat again.

Well, I think that's enough babbling for tonight.

did I find the solution?

Today was TO's library day at school and she brought home a book about crocheting.  Gotta say, at least she checks out all areas of the library.  Anyway, she was very excited to try crocheting and was very surprised when I told her I would work with her on it--after she finished her homework.  She finished her homework in under 10 minutes and then spend 30 minutes trying to learn to crochet.

I didn't realize when I agreed to help her, just how hard it would be.  I think the hardest part is that each hand is doing something different.  And learning how to hold everything so there's tension in the yarn.  She wanted to start a blanket for baby cousin J, but I talked her into trying a dishcloth square first.  I explained that she could make more squares and we could sew the squares together to make a blanket.  I worked the chain and the first row for her.  She worked until supper and then again between her bath and bedtime.  She's about halfway through the 2nd row and asked if she could crochet again tomorrow morning before school.  I told her she could, as long as she got ready for school first.  I sure hope she remains so enthusiastic about it--I could really use crocheting as a tool.

same bat time, same bat channel

We got a new channel on the dish--Hub.  And it's basically a semi-retro channel.  During the day they run new shows (like a computer-animated Strawberry Shortcake) and old shows (like Fraggle Rock) for the kids.  In the evening they run old classic shows like Family Ties, Doogie Howser, and ....  Batman.  Holy reruns, Batman!  The Dynamic Duo rides again!  And being a show from the 60s, there's no blood and most of the violence is covered by the big splash words like "BAM!"  "POW!" and "ZONK!"  I figured this might be the ideal chance to introduce LE to his super hero.  And he loved it.  As soon as the theme music started, he jumped up and started dancing.  And the fact that he's getting to see some of the villains that he has in his play set (Mr. Freeze), makes it all  the better.

a very rashy boy

LE has been feeling kind of off for a while now.  Lots of complaints of headaches, stomachaches and leg pain, along with sporadic bouts of fever.  I took him in to the doctor on the 15th and they said he had a sinus infection and prescribed Augmentin.  They also did some blood work, which revealed a viral infection.  Then Thursday (the 21st) he stayed home with high fevers and Friday he was home as well (feeling better, but still not well enough to go to school).  Friday night after supper I noticed a rash on his upper torso and by bed time it had spread to his lower torso and upper arms.  By this morning it had spread to his whole body--all the way to his hands and feet.  We made a trip to the doctor this morning and they've pulled him off of the Augmentin, even though they are not calling it an allergic reaction and we're keeping him on Benadryl until the rash goes away.  The poor boy--the rash has continued to get worse--his checks are solidly covered with rash now, instead of just being spotty.  And it's starting to itch.  He's being a trooper though.

at a loss

Things here at home have really gone a downward spiral since we got back from vacation.  The thing is I know that it is my fault.  And trust me, I'm feeling the guilt.  But I'm not sure how to step forward from this point.

How do I get the urge to get up and clean?  How do I get that urge to get back on the weight watchers wagon?  And how do I get the urge to follow through with the discipline?

So, as I sit back and look at my problems through, what I hope are, long distance lenses, I think I'm realizing that it all falls on my shoulders.  There will be no magic fix to the dishes, or the food, and most importantly the discipline.  I know that it will be hard work for me.  And so, I'm trying to pick one to focus on.  Maybe if I can focus on just one thing, the rest will start to fall into place.  Maybe, hopefully.

Of the three--dishes, food and discipline--lately, it's been the discipline that's really been getting in my face.  Quite literally--when TO is busy yelling at me.  It's very frustrating when her teacher tells me what a joy she is, what a ray of sunshine, and even that he would clone her if he could.  While I'm glad that she's behaving herself at school, why am I stuck with the demon child.  Me--not P--just me.

It's time I buckle down with her and really set up a plan of attack--unfortunately, I constantly  feel under attack from her and therefore always on the defensive.  It's time to get on the offense!

Here's my first plan of attack (to be altered upon need):  There will be no warnings--if there are warnings she assumes that she can do something once and get away with it.  The first offense will result in an 8 minute time-out in her bedroom.  The second offense will result in a 16 minute time-out.  The third offense will result in loss of privileges (ie.  tv, iPod, sleeping in the guest room...).  And of course, serious offenses, or ignoring the consequences will skip right to the loss of privileges.  Well, at least there's a plan in place.  So tomorrow, a new dawn begins.  Or something else corny like that.

Where did it go?

My patience has been pretty much non-existent lately.  Which is very frustrating to me--and the family, I'm sure.  I don't have coping skills for this--and I'm not sure how to get some.  I'm hoping that I'll start feeling better in the next few days.

appointments

Yesterday we had a noon appointment with TO's psychologist, followed by a 1pm appointment with her oncologist.  According to her psychologist, she's doing really well with her anxiety--and we've noticed this at home.  We've been given some homework to work on, but our next appointment isn't for 10 more weeks.

She did fairly well with her blood work (finger poke)--not as good as the past 2 experiences, but definitely better than last year.  After the blood work, we met with her oncologist, who decided that she needed have a flu shot--which sent TO through the roof.  She's still pretty mad about it this morning.  She just doesn't understand why I didn't tell her that she was going to get a shot.  I don't think she understands that I didn't know about it either.  Honestly, I wasn't surprised that they wanted her to get a flu shot, but there was no way I was going to tell her about it and listen to her howling for days.  Now it's over and done with.  And the good news is, that she's old enough now that she only needs one shot.  No booster like the younger ones need.  Yay!

mother-in-law

So P's mom and his sister and new baby came to visit us over the weekend.  And in general I don't mind having his mom as company--but this time, all I could seem to do was find irritation with her.  And each time I find something misplaced, the irritation increases.

The thing is, most of the time when I get frustrated with her, I feel kind of guilty.  I mean the woman washed all of my dishes for me, so I can't get too upset that when she washed Omega's bottles, she didn't separate the nipples from the rings--or that she left them to dry nipple down--with water in the nipples.  That really shouldn't have upset me, right?

But when I poured myself a glass of apple juice this morning and then noticed dried chocolate milk floating in it, I got really disgusted.  Of course, I immediately turn it back on myself--if I hadn't let it sit out, it wouldn't have dried in the glass in the first place--and there's no way she should have known to watch for dried milk in the glasses--as this is not a common occurrence in any one's house but mine.  Still--eeeewwww!  Dried milk in my apple juice!  And part of washing dishes is actually looking at them, right?

That being vented, it was really good meeting little baby J and visiting with P's sister--and his mom took the kids to get hair cuts and out to McDonald's.  I guess I'll finish with--it's a good thing that these visits don't happen more than once a month.

----------

Thursday night is turning out to be a very busy night for me.  I have parent-teachers conferences at 4:50 and 5:10, followed by a first reconciliation meeting at 6pm.  I'm just hoping everything is over by 7pm, so P won't have to get to work late.  At least he's able to stay home with the kids though. 

Christmas shopping started early!

P got a few hours off of work this afternoon and I got to head over to the Farm and Fleet Toyland--which opened yesterday.  And thanks to a Packers game, the store was relatively deserted.  I was able to get TO and Omega done.  For TO:  The latest big Littlest Pet Shop set, Mousetrap, and a Spirograph (remember those?).  For Omega:  a Crocodile block wagon, 2 board books (welcome back Moo, Baa, La La La!), and 2 pjs--which we'll use early.  For LE:  A Sponge Bob Matchbox car set with extra cars, a tying shoe laces book, and a countdown wooded dice game (roll 2 die, either flip over each number or the sum of the two).  For CD:  the new Pop Goes the Froggio game, and some magnetic wooden paper dolls.  I still need to get the "big-guy" presents for LE and CD, but I figure I have 3/4s of my shopping done and it's not even Halloween--I so totally rock this year!  I still have money in my Christmas budget, and if have extra after the "big-guy" gifts, I'll probably add some of the new movies--Tinkerbell, Dragons or Beauty and the Beast.

Definitely a feeling of accomplishment today!

our trip--2nd installment

On Thursday, TO's b'day, we were scheduled to have breakfast with the princesses in "Norway" at Epcot--thank you Make-a-Wish!  This was probably the coolest thing of the trip, although it really was becoming hard to pick just one.  Right after we got into Epcot, we caught an autograph and picture from Daisy Duck.  And learned that we could use TO's guest assistance pass to get to the front of the character lines as well as the ride lines.

The breakfast was awesome.  While we were waiting to get in, a few of the girls from Norway working at Epcot sang TO a birthday song--and dance--in Norwegian.  After we got called in to the breakfast, we met with Belle in her big yellow ball gown.  A Disney photographer took some shots of the kids and the whole family with Belle and before we left we were given a 5X7 and 4-3X5s of each pose (one with just kids and one with the whole family).  There was a buffet with fruits and pastries and eggs, bacon, sausage and a potato casserole were served family-style right at our table.  Then after we started eating the servers brought out a birthday cupcake and sang to TO.  And then the best part--Snow White, Princess Aurora, Jasmine and Ariel took turns at our table.  Each signed TO's autograph book and took a picture with the kids.  We weren't able to find Ariel in any of the parks and it was great to have her at breakfast, as she was the top of our favorite princesses list.

After breakfast, we decided to walk through all the countries at Epcot on our way back to the front of the park where we would catch the Finding Nemo ride and a few more characters.  After only a few hours in the park, we were still at the back end and now we were dragging 3 kids through the park--everyone was worn out from Magic Kingdom the day before.

Needless to say, we opted to skip the ride and the characters and headed back to the village instead.  After a rest (and some lunch) we decided to try out the dinosaur mini-golf course at the village.  I don't think that we laughed so hard with the kids in some time.  We each had our own ball and shared a putter--a good choice if I give my mommy-self a pat on the back.  There were 2 holes that included dinosaurs that spit water at you when you made the final putt into the hole.  What a riot.  I think P spent more time trying to trick the kids into getting soaked than he actually spent golfing.

That evening after supper was Winter Wonderland in the village--which included a visit from Santa.  Because the kids were already so tired, we skipped to the Santa visit and avoided the rest of the activities.  The kids got 'scanned' by an elf and declared good enough to get to pick out a present.  The girls each picked out an 18 inch doll and LE picked out a "Learning to Share" board game.  Then we waited for about 30 minutes for our turn to see Santa.  Once we were up there, and he found out it was TO's b'day, he had the entire audience sing to her and also had her head back to the elf to pick out a 2nd present--the Operation game this time.

Friday we decided to head to Sea World, but we were going to have lunch first.  Then while we were having lunch, LE suddenly got really pale and started complaining about not feeling well.  So, we ended up skipping the parks that day and hung out around the village.  We didn't do much that night.  Rested up and watched some movie--ordered pizza in--the village had it's own pizza delivery service.

Saturday, after breakfast, we headed out to Sea World.  LE still wasn't feeling the best, so we decided to take advantage of the free stroller that we were offered.  We were able to catch a dolphin show shortly after we arrived and then we got a chance to feed the dolphins.  The trainer and the husband started talking breeding and care of dolphins, which resulted in the trainer staying right with us--and having the dolphin come up to the side multiple times for the kids to pet.

We had lunch at Sea World and checked out the sharks, penguins and manatees, all en route to the Shamu show.  Unfortunately LE was starting to run a bit of a fever by then and we decided we needed to skip the show and head back to the village.   We rest of that day too.

Sunday--our last day for park visiting--we decided to head to Disney's Animal Kingdom.  We caught the safari and saw a great selection of animals.  Lions, giraffes, elephants--including a baby, rhinos, ostriches, etc.  We walked through a few animals exhibits, had lunch and then caught the Expedition Everest ride.  Which, after riding, TO, LE and I--the husband stayed with CD instead f riding--decided that it was too much ride for us.

Then we headed back over to Magic Kingdom to catch our favorite rides one last time and do some more souvenir shopping.  We finally met Cinderella and also Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen.  Thunder Mountain, the Dumbo ride, and Goofy's Barnstormer.  TO picked out a stuffed dalmatian, LE picked out a view master, and CD picked out a magnetic fairy play set.

Sunday was a busy and long day, but we were glad we fit it in.  In the end, we ended up missing the Universal parks because of our down day, but we're glad we caught the Animal Kingdom.  P wishes that we had more time to explore Animal Kingdom and Epcot, but agreed that they're not really the kid-friendliest.

where'd the wagon go?

I knew it would be hard to follow weight watchers down in Florida.  The food was free, so I couldn't be too picky about what it was--and to be honest, I had no plan of being picky.  I thought I'd be able to jump right back on the wagon when I got home.  It hasn't been that easy.  To continue the metaphor, I can't even see the wagon and really have no desire to try and find it.  I really like the foods that I've been eating the last week+ and I'm really tired of eating healthy.  I know I need to lose weight for my health, but the jalapeno poppers are calling...

I guess part of me is feeling like if the husband can start chewing again, why should I be trying to lose weight?  Of course, he's probably feeling the same way too.  I think I'm using him as an excuse to eat right now--which is definitely the wrong thing to do.

A battle for another day though.

little accomplishments

The last few days CD has been doing a really good job with keeping her underpants dry and clean.  She seems to be very excited about it too--which is a good thing.  Today she's actually been in the same outfit since breakfast--and she usually changes the entire outfit every time she has an accident.

Omega came back from my mom's a completely mobile little one.  When we left, he was barely crawling.  And yesterday he pulled himself up to standing on the end table.  He's done it a few more times today and was very proud of himself.  We picked up a baby gate for the door way between the kitchen and living room--a walk through kind.  I showed the older kids how to work the door so they could go back and forth--now I just have to keep LE from opening and closing it all the time.

The husband's boss is gone for the weekend and has hired another guy to help out.  Right now the other guy and the husband have gone to the sporting goods store to pick up hunting licenses.  I guess they're going to go hunting after morning chores.  Sigh.  I know he wants to have friends, but sheesh.  I told him not to bring me a deer home--I told him I didn't even want to see a deer.

The mother-in-law is coming down Saturday morning.  I'm hoping I can convince her to take TO to get her hair cut.  I'm tired of struggling with her over combing her hair.  She went to school this morning with the front half combed and the back half looking like she just climbed out of bed.  So, now she doesn't get a choice in the matter--it's either get it cut short or get it cut off--well, maybe that is a choice...

mouse ears, souvenirs and a few tears--installement one.

Last Tuesday, bright and early in the morning--well, actually dark and early in the morning--3:30 ugh--we (TO, LE, CD, the husband and I--Omega was with my mother) were picked up by a limo and driven to the airport.  We caught a quick flight to the cities (so quick they didn't even serve drinks) and then caught a flight to Orlando.  We were introduced to the Give Kids the World Village--and were amazed.  We had looked at their website (gktw.org) before going and were impressed.  But the employees and volunteers made the village unforgettable.

On Wednesday, after breakfast we headed to the Magic Kingdom.  This part of the trip we hadn't planned for and I think the husband and I were overwhelmed.  The kids were amazed.  They loved meeting the characters and riding the rides.  We headed back to toonland to try and find Ariel--we found Goofy's Barnstormer (a smaller roller coaster that was fast and twisty) instead.  We also rode the Dumbo ride, the carousel, Peter Pan's Flying ride, Snow White's ride, Aladdin's Magic Carpets, Jungle Safari Cruise (filled with really bad jokes), Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain.  We had a blast with the exception of CD's hour long tantrum between the Dumbo ride and the carousel.  She had wanted to ride the Dumbo ride, but it was temporarily closed--but she wanted to ride it now.  So I sent the husband off with TO and LE and sat on the bench and listened to CD's fit.  After a while, the husband and I decided that we should just head home, if she wasn't going to behave.  So I carried her kicking and screaming from the back of the park to the front--and then she finally started calming down, actually taking deep breaths to calm herself.  So we stayed and just the threat of leaving if she threw another tantrum was enough to keep her in check.

We decided to do some souvenir shopping on the way out and let each of the kids pick something out.  LE picked out a Zurg space shooter toy (that of course needed batteries that required a stop at WalMart).  TO picked out an art set in a princess case and CD picked out a Snow White figurine set with Snow White, the Prince and all 7 dwarfs.

doing the right thing--for me

I knew it was coming.  It was only a matter of time.When the husband came home from work tonight, he needed me to run to the store for pizza, pop and almond joys.  Then as I was reaching for the keys, "oh, and as long as you're in town...how 'bout picking me up a can of snuff."  So, I took a deep breath and told him no.  I know exactly what getting him a can will turn into--if I do it once, I'll keep doing it.  I heard a lot of ranting and raving, but kept telling him "no" and walked out the door.  I also knew what it would be when I got home.  More ranting and raving, because he really thought I'd bring it home.  That I'd feel so bad for making him mad, that I'd bring him a can.  Because in his words "he just needs one to get him through tomorrow and then I'll quit on vacation."  But I know that if I buy it for him here, I'll end up buying it for him in Florida and then again when we get back home.  And I'm done.  I'm done getting the weird looks from the cashiers (of course the looks probably won't be as bad as when I was pregnant and buying it).  I'm just done with it all.  It won't hurt him to realize just how much money it takes out of our budget.

So now he's gone to get his precious can and grumbling all the way.  Of course it's all my fault that he has to go to WalMart--the only store still open, the gas stations are even closed now.  I'm sure I'll have to listen to more of it when he gets home, but hopefully with a little nicotine in his system, he'll be a bit calmer.  Sigh.

making progress

This morning CD came running down the stairs and stated she needed to use the toilet!  Can you believe it?  She pooped then, and I found her in the bathroom later doing the same thing.  Twice in the same day--without prompting?  And going to the bathroom completely by herself--without needing anyone else there?  Who is this 4 year old and where did my CD go?  Hopefully we continue this kind of progress through our trip.

While CD is making progress in the bathroom, I am not making strides in the weight loss arena.  This week, I gained 2 pounds, after having lost weight every week for the past 2 months.  A little frustrating, but I know that I did not stick to the program and ate more than I should have--my stomach told me that, but I decided to override--the jalapeno poppers were sooooo good.  At least I know that it was my failure and not the program.

I'm giving myself the week of the trip off.  There's no way that I want to be worried about points and such.  I'm hoping that the extra exercise (any exercise actually) will help.  I know that there will be lots of walking going on.  I am going to try to make some health-conscious decisions though.

I found Omega sitting up in his crib this morning.  A definite new skill that I'm sure he'll be practicing at my mom's.  He looked so proud of himself.

here we go again?

So, the husband used nicotine patches and quit chewing 2+ months ago.  And I know that he really struggled with it, and I was very proud of him.  Then the other day on the way home from the chiropractor, he stopped at the gas station and picked up a can.  I could have cried.  He told me he figured since I had fallen off the ww-wagon for the day, that he could too.  I told him that I wouldn't buy it for him anymore.  I figured since he didn't like to leave the house to shop--like ever--that I didn't have anything to worry about.  Then tonight after he finished work he rushed out the door with clean clothes on and a check in his pocket.  I know he's hoping that I won't realize where he's going and he'll probably bring me something back--a guilt offering--but I'm so frustrated.  We just don't have this in the budget at all.  AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!  Wonder how long he's going to play this she-won't-know-what-I'm-doing routine.

something I never thought I'd say

Tonight, after supper, everyone was hanging out in the living room watching a little Go Diego, Go! (thank you, Nick Jr.).  LE was still hungry and eating a piece of pizza.  He had used the pizza cutter to cut it into pieces.  Next thing I know he's standing behind me rolling the pizza cutter side to side across his waist.
LE:  Look, I'm cutting off my peter.
Me:  Yeah, well, go do that in the kitchen, please.

a few vents

I know that this has turned into a sort of negative vibe--a lot of complaining coming from me--but you don't have to read it and it's a great way for me to let go of some of this stuff so that when the husband comes home I don't vent it all on him.

So, today I'm more than a little perturbed with my mother-in-law.  She spent the summer going to thrift sales and the outlet malls and I know that she picked some stuff up for Omega.  She has decided that she's going to keep it all at her house until he is the right size.  And while I understand that is her right, tonight Omega is wearing 3T pjs (and he's not even 8 months old) because he's outgrown all but a few pairs and they're all in the wash.  And I can't help but think that she has some 18 month pjs sitting in her closet.  I know that she's trying to help us keep the clutter out of the house--but I could really use the jammies.

Perhaps the most frustrating part is that when TO was little, she had no problem giving us her thrift sale purchases right away--even though we had 2 complete wardrobes that had been handed down for TO.  I guess I should just be happy that this time around she's being a bit more picky about what she picks up at the sales.  The stuff she got us for TO was always full of stains and it was all about getting it cheap.

We are getting ready for the Make-a-Wish trip coming up soon.  I'm stressing out about the lists of things that have to be packed and done.  I just want to scream.  Or at least get a little help from my husband.  But he's got it in his head that he's just going to get in the car when it's time to head to the airport.  I'm guessing no help will be coming from him.

We are also dealing with TO's anxiety issues.  Currently, she's excited for the trip but very scared about the metal scanners at the airport.  We've watched some videos of the kids going through them on the internet, and I think it's helping.  We'll probably try watching them again tomorrow.  But right now, I know she's trying to work it all out in her head.  So frustrating.  I thought our troubles were done when she finished up treatments--turns out we're just dealing with a different set of troubles. 

Sigh.

a churchin' we will go

Not being a terribly religious person--I've gone through first communion, but not confirmed.  I kind of always planned on letting the kids decide, once they got older, if they wanted to be religious or not.  I figured that the baptisms would get them started in the right direction, but not being confirmed myself, I hoped that the religious education could fall on my husband's shoulders.  And, I guess to some extent it did.  He said sign them up and I did.  Now, because he milks on Sunday mornings, it suddenly falls onto my shoulders to take them.

Now it's official.  I've been to church more this year than I have in the last 3 years.  And by the end of the year I'll have been to church more times this year than since I graduated from high school.  Perhaps, I'm realizing the error in this when CD thought Omega should wear his gown to church again, as the last time we were there was his baptism.

I was honestly kind of dreading this morning.  I'm not typically a children-should-be-seen-and-not-heard kind of mom--I don't think my kids would let me if I wanted to.  But, I've always been terrified of having the benchful of unruly children.  Today was our first test.

Well, five of us went to church and five of us came back--success!  Actually, the kids did really well, considering their ages.  We made a 7:45 run to WalMart to get some small notebooks and pens for them to have in church.  Of course, they don't carry the cheap 97 cent pocket notebooks, and we ended up with some small $2.50 5-star ones.  And I grabbed a pack of pens really quick, because they were all different colors.  I assumed that they all wrote in the same blue/black color, but surprise, they wrote in the color of their barrel.  Gotta love a surprise like that.

They called the 4 and 5 year olds (not age, 4K and kindergarten would be more appropriate) up to the front and they got a blessing from the father and then sent on their way.  They stayed out until the offering--which meant that LE had to sit through communion.  In all he did okay, but when he came back he wanted to loudly point out everyone who was in his class with him--there were about 20 or so of them.  By the end he was crying because I kept telling him to turn around and be quiet.  At one point in time, he was looking at the lady sitting behind him as she was praying and said to me "hey, I think she's sleeping."  Sigh.  Well, maybe next time he'll get it.

CD did really well, and was willing to fill page after page in her notebook with "A."  Toward the end, she was busy looking at the hymnal and somehow managed to drop it--3 times!

TO kept busy with the hymnal and her notebook.  She showed me her first page a few minutes into the mass "Dear Diary.  I am at church."  I'm guessing her entries each week will read about the same.

Omega fell asleep shortly after LE left.  I had kind of planned for this--and saved his bottle for church.  He slept until after communion, and couldn't ask for anything better--now I just hope that he keeps his same nap schedule for the next 4 years :)

TO had Sunday School (well they call it Faith Formation down here but that will take some getting used to).  Came home with a canvas bag that she needs to bring back and forth each weekend, a huge workbook and flashcards.  Somehow I'm thinking she might get a bit more out of this than I ever got out of CCD.

Next weekend there's no class and the weekend after that we'll be in Florida.  But I'm giving myself permission to only go on the Sundays that the kids have class.  At least for now that will be enough.  I'm hoping that each weekend will get better in church for the kids.  I may need to try to find some word finds to tape into LE's book to keep him a bit more entertained.  I guess I will settle for behavior like today.  No one seemed to be giving us weird looks on the way out the door.

All I really want to get out of church at this point in time is that relaxed feeling that I used to get.  But I'll probably have to settle on just making it through without a scene.  At least until the kids are older.

falling off the ww wagon

So today has been a terrible day weight watchers wise.  I really just want to give up all together, but feel guilty for wanting to--after all, I've actually had some success--25 pounds of success.  Today, I took a day off, and I'm sure I'll pay for it tomorrow on the scale.

Patience-wise, today has been terrible.  I actually told TO to "bite me" this morning.  I'm pretty sure the Carol Bradys and June Cleavers of the world would not recommend this course of action.  I'm sure that TO was pretty confused and had no clue what the meaning really was, but did finally do her chores after I asked her one more time.

LE is feeling tons better today--and is showing it by antagonizing the girls.  And while I'm glad that he's feeling better, I sure wish that he wasn't quite so naughty about it.  There has to be a happy medium, doesn't there?

CD is back to her old habit of pooping in her pants again.  She actually went on the toilet once today and I tried really hard to be enthusiastic about it, but it gets hard to pretend--knowing that it's probably going to happen again tomorrow.

Omega has started really moving around the house now--he's able to move his walker on the carpet and he can be right where he wants to be pretty quickly now.  His favorite is electrical cords--like the computer cords, the tv cords and the telephone cords.  He disappeared when I was making supper and I found him behind my recliner pushing buttons on the telephone (he had pulled on the cord until the phone fell off the end table).  I sure hope I don't end up with some international charges...

I'm trying to knit a hat for Omega.  I thought that I had done a good job picking out a substitute yarn for the project, but evidently not.  So far, it's looking like it could easily fit CD.  Not that she needs another winter hat.  Now, I need to decide how to approach the project.  I want the hat to look the same, but I can't shrink the pattern down enough.  The earflaps would turn into blinders.  I may need to rework the earflaps, but until I get the hat knit, I'm not sure how best to do that.  I guess it will be a trial and error kind of deal.  I'll work on it tonight while I'm watching a movie we dvr'd during our free HBO weekend.  Gotta love free HBO.