needing a new mantra

In this entire potty training--or the new phrase is potty learning.  Which I hate--it makes me feel like my child must be stupid if she can't learn to use the toilet.  But, boy that's kind of off topic, so I'll try again.

In this entire potty training process with CD, I've had a mantra.  I'd repeat it every time I was feeling frustrated, which pretty much meant I was repeating it daily, most times many times per day.  What's this wonderful, calm-inducing mantra you ask?  "How many 21 year olds do you see wearing diapers?"  Lately, it's dawning on me that my 4 year old may become one of them. 

We are having daily accidents--of both varieties.  It's a good thing we have so many pairs of panties, because we sure go through them fast.  It's not unusual to see her in 3+ outfits a day--because when the bottom gets wet, the top needs to be changed too--in her opinion at least.

My theory?  I think she's trying to withhold pooping again.  Despite the fact that she's on a daily dose of MiraLax.  I think she's withholding and in the process, is wetting as well.  Because let's face it, you can't hold that back forever. 

And I suppose there's the added pressure of 4K coming up in the fall.  I struggle with the thought of my kid being the pants wetter in the class--or even worse, the pants messer.  Though why this bothers me, I'm not sure.  LE has already had 2 accidents in kindergarten this year.  I know that in 4K they want a spare set of clothes going back and forth in the back pack, but right now I can only imagine that CD will be coming home wearing different clothes than she goes to school in--every day!

Of course, there's the feeling that I'm failing her somehow.  I mean, she's four for goodness sakes.  TO was daytime trained by 2 and LE was daytime trained by 2.5.  The nighttime wetness wouldn't even bother me so much if she didn't poop in her pull-ups also. 

I'm not just struggling with her over the potty training though.  It's everything.  It's the attitude, the not listening and did I mention the attitude?  I know that it's going to be a up-mountain battle with her over everything.  I know that it'll be easier if I start now instead of starting later.  I know this, and yet I can't bring myself to do it.  Could I be more of a mothering-wuss?

So I need a new mantra for dealing with her--potty training-wise and general-wise.